This post was almost titled "Heroes." However, after some contemplation I realized that many of you would wonder "am I on her list of heroes?" Many of you may think that you should be. If that is the case please fill out the following list of questions and submit them to me by March 12, at 4 p.m. All applications will be reviewed. You will not be notified, nor will the list be published. Thank you:

Please submit, along with your full name, in typed form:
1. After having spent time with you do I walk away encouraged to be a better person just by being around you?

2. Do you have lots of wisdom that I can glean from?

3. Have you endured some major curve balls that the Lord has allowed to be thrown your way and truly blossomed in them?

4. Do you walk in the joy of the Lord regardless of your circumstances?

5. Do you exemplify Christ's love and graciousness to those that others would not be loving and gracious to?

6. Do you know how to diffuse a situation by saying just the right thing?

7. Do you show respect to those in authority, regardless if they deserve the respect or not, but respecting the position God has placed them in?

8. Are you humble and able to be taught and receive instruction?

9. Do you have people you are accountable to that will hold to you a high Godly standard?

10. Can you stand on your head, write the Gettysburg address and sing Jingle Bells backwards all the same time?

Yesterday was one of those constant mental attack days. At one point Kelly called the church and said, "how are you?" I said "ok, how are you" and she started laughing and said fine. I didn't ask her why she was laughing because I thought I knew the answer and I wasn't in the mood to try to explain that I didn't know what was really wrong with me. Afterwards Pastor Pat said she asked him what was wrong with me. I told him, "I feel funky today and I don't know why."

Ever have one of those days that you are depressed and kind of feel like you are looking for a reason to be depressed? Or maybe not depressed, frustrated, hurt, sad, take your pick. You just want a reason to feel like you do because then at least you know it will end. That was my yesterday.

All day I fought. I wanted to lash out at Pastor Pat but instead I prayed and asked God to give me patience because I knew what I was lashing out at was not even his fault. I wanted to stop singing during worship and just quit playing altogether but instead I kept drawing my thoughts back to God and the words of the song. Because I knew that Tom wasn't trying to manipulate me off the team, he was trying to make all of us sound better. I wanted to get up and leave the teaching because I felt I needed to be alone but instead I listened and asked God to help me through this because I was exhausted from the mental fight all day long.

You know what God did? He blessed me with a teaching that spoke right to the core of my heart. I was able to walk away from the teaching with tools to fight back. I was encouraged and I felt good yes, but that was just the side effect of remembering what my focus truly needs to be, Jesus. Getting back to the reasons that I do what I do, its all about Jesus.

Having experienced days like this before I truly expected to have a few more fighting days ahead. Tools are not cures, just tools. But the Lord blessed me this time by allowing me to wake up with such joy in my heart. Thank you Lord! I would have fought if you asked but it was such a blessing to be able to rest in You today!

Its been a while so I thought I would do a quick update to catch you up to speed on where I have been the past few weeks.

We had a wedding at the church and I was the one running the sound and the MC at the rehearsal. It was really funny because I was more involved in this wedding than I had ever expected. At the rehearsal I was there ready to run sound. Pastor Pat was not doing there because he was not doing the wedding because there was an Uncle that was going to perform it. However I have seen many many many of Pastor Pat's rehearsals and he has a unique way of running them that helps them go much faster. The Uncle had never performed a wedding so I asked him if I could make a suggestion. He then told me that I was running it! So there I was running on the stage giving direction, then running back to the booth to practice the music portion. We were still done in under an hour! YAY!

Valentine's weekend was crazy fun. We hold a married and engaged couples dinner every year called Valentino's. We change the church into a very posh restaurant and have a fabulously filled evening. When the couples first walk in they are greeted by the Maitre'd and Maitre'dess (what do you call the girl?) who check their reservations (we have limited seating), take their coates, and then take them to two separate rooms. In the rooms they write a love letter to their spouse. There is stationary there and stickers and such to do this. Once finished they would then join back up to my room to take pictures. This was fun! I will tell stories in a minute. After the pictures they are then seated for dinner (this year was 5 courses! YUM! It was Soup, Salad, Pasta, Steak or Chicken entre and then a dessert place with a canoli, cheesecake, and creme brule to share between the two of them). Right before dessert Pastor Pat and Kelly spoke on marriage and mushy junk that I didn't want to hear so I went in the kitchen and ate. Then we were done.

The pictures were funny because I was waiting for the next couple and one of the ladies was waiting and waiting and waiting for her husband to finish. She finally laughingly said, "well we got in a fight on the way over here and so he's probably venting in his letter." We were laughing back and forth about this when he finally came out. So we go to the picture room. Now I do two full length shots and two close ups (I would do more but we have to work fast). If I get one good one of each I use my remaining two for fun shots. So usually I tell the couples "its a kissing shot." Well with this couple when I said, "its a kissing shot" the wife looked at me like I was asking her to walk 1000 miles in high heels. She literally groaned with her eyes and said, "Didn't I tell you that we were fighting?" I said, "Thats why you need to kiss more!" So I made them kiss like three times! For the rest of the evening I would tease them and they would tease back. At the end when they were leaving she said, "Well, we are kissing again and its all your fault!"

Another couple who I know has been married for quite some time (I think around 20 years or so) when I said, "ok now for a kissing shot." The wife turns to her husband, who was talking to me, and said, "Ok, ready?" then he looked and she said again, "Are you ready?" then they kissed, but something happened (I forget what, I think they thought I snapped the pic to early or something) and they wanted me to take it again. So I did and again she looked at him and said, "are you ready?" several times. So, when they were finished I said, "if you two don't have the timing down by now you really need some more practice!"

At the end of Valentino's, which was Friday night, we cleaned up and I got home at about 1 a.m. I was exhausted and had to make several trips from my car up the stairs to my door and then lugging everything in took me a few minutes. All this added up to the fact that when I finally had my door shut and turned around to start putting things away I finally noticed that sitting on my footstool was my favorite flowers, some chocolates and a balloon that said "I love you." It was SO sweet! My parents snuck in during the day and surprised me! Then on Saturday the three of us went to a late lunch and the movies. I was so blessed to have somewhere to be on Valentines day and then to have gifts to top it off! I had expected to be home alone all day. I was very very very blessed.

Well this post is extremely long. I will post something again another day. I just thought I had best catch people up.