A short time ago the Lord gave me such a precious picture to help me through a difficult situation. The situation was mostly mental but sometimes those are the most difficult to overcome, this was such. It was because I have often struggled with it, overcome, struggled, and overcome. I was tired of the cycle.

As I was heading for bed I was praying through it and asking for God's help and He gave me the most beautiful vision that I wanted to share.

Picture a field, filled with flowers, all different kinds and colors of flowers. I was standing in the midst of the field and Jesus gave me a painting, in that painting was a close up of a particular flower. It allowed me to see in detail the beauty of that particular flower. All the intricacies could be appreciated in this picture. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw another girl with a painting and I started to catch a glimpse that her flower was a different color so I realized that her picture was different. I was jealous, I wanted to see her flower. I no longer wanted the painting that I originally was so amazed by.

That's when God showed me, He has given me gifts and talents, He has placed me in particular situations in life specifically to show me the particular beauties of that particular flower in the way that He wants me to see it. I cannot be jealous of someone else's painting because they don't have my painting. So if I had her painting I wouldn't learn to appreciate God in the way that He had chosen. He gave me my painting specifically for me. It's personal. So if I am jealous of someone's ability to do something, their affluence, their popularity, I am literally saying, "I don't want this painting, I want that one." And God says, but you are all standing in this field, you all have the same view, I am just giving you a specific close up that that was created personally for you.

I don't want to exchange my painting. Now when I feel the same battles rising in my mind I imagine myself, in that field, hugging that painting to my heart and saying, "this is my painting Lord, I love it, I will appreciate it."

The whole book craze drove me crazy. I am naturally critical so I never believed the truth of the stories. I can't help it. They are either cheesy or unbelievable. But don't worry, this is not a post about a story that I know to be true or how my mind was changed. I am just stating this because of the title I picked.

I picked this title because I made chicken rice soup from scratch today and I am very proud of myself. I used what I had on hand and some fabulous spices and it turned out pretty good.

I actually used the giblets to make a kind of soup for Calvary. Cooked them in some water, chopped them up and put a little of it in her food. She loved it!

My soul was not affected by this chicken soup but my stomach sure was!!!

If you do not believe this story then you are a skeptic like me.

You are at a crossroads, your thoughts are scrambled, jumbled. How do you decide? There are clear reasons not to make this decision hastily or emotionally but you cannot disconnect from the choices. What do you do? You see the pros and cons of each branch in the road but neither obviously outweighs the other. So you pray.

You are still at a crossroads, your thoughts are more peaceful, trusting God will show you, but there are still no clear options. Each option is equally weighed on the balance of pros and cons. Those around you have opinions and guidance but nothing outweighing the other. So you keep praying.

You are still at a crossroads, your thoughts are much more anxious. Will God ever make this path clear? Will He show you what He wants? How am I ever going to make this choice? I have to move forward sometime! So you keep praying.

Sometimes I wonder if God places us at the crossroads without clear direction just so we will seek Him. There we learn to be on our faces before Him. There we learn to listen and be still and hear His voice. There we learn to be patient and wait. There we learn that it truly is best not to make a move until His guidance is clear. There we learn to depend on God.

I am at a crossroads.

Time is not necessarily my friend. When I don't have enough it is stressful and life is full of frustrations stealing more of it from me. When I have extra then things like this happen, I start writing. Who in their right mind would allow me to share the nonsense in my head with the rest of the world? Who in their right mind would read this nonsense? (My apologies to anyone who might be reading this right now).

Regardless I have decided to start blogging again. Giving the writer in me a chance to giggle as I tickle its fancy and the fanciful in me a chance to stretch and yawn and say, "its about time!"

So, perhaps, its not that I have extra time, or not enough time, but just the right amount. Perhaps, this will turn out to be the beginning of an amazing journey.

Or it will just be another blog of nonsense.