My cousin recently posted a blog called Tenderness on her site Discovering Nathan (the link is on the right of my blog here).

This made me remember some things from my childhood. My mom became very ill when I was about 8 years old. She got TSS which nearly put her in the hospital. She recovered from that but still was very sick. The doctors could not figure out why she had no energy, horrible headaches and was always feeling so horribly. For 2 or 3 years it was visiting doctor after doctor.

I don't remember all of the details as I was so young but I have talked with my mom about this part since so forgive me for the generalities. The insurance that we were with was the kind where you could switch doctors within a certain group. But you couldn't go out of that group, or something like that. One doctor decided she was crazy and referred her to a psychiatrist. She never went, but now this was on her chart and once any new doctor would see that they would basically just look at her condescendingly and not look for any other reason for her sickness. So for quite some time the doctors were no help to her.

I don't remember what changed, how she found this doctor but I remember the day she got the diagnosis. She came home and said that the doctor found that she had low thyroid. She told us the name of it, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, and I laughed. I thought she was kidding. Turns out she wasn't. When her thyroid tests came back the doctor looked at her and said that her thyroid was so low he didn't know how she was standing up at that point. She smiled weakly and said "well, you go shower and lay down for a half an hour. Then you get up and do your hair and lay down for a half an hour..."

I share all of this actually not regarding my mom but regarding us kids. I have had the reaction of pity and sympathy because we had to go through so much. I remember being surprised when someone asked me at church where my mom was and they would be sad when I told them she was sick. I would think, "you silly, why are you sad? She's always sick." It became the norm of life to do schoolwork by her bedside, to clean the house for her and even to cook a little bit.

I think every parent doesn't want their child to have to go through the hard things in life. I know that my mom, prior to her sickness, would have said that she wouldn't want her kids to grow up with a parent that was sick all the time. I know my cousin would do anything to allow her children the freedom of a normal life (all of her children, autism affects the entire family, not just the child with autism). I know the social struggles, the effort just to live normally is not what she would wish for her precious Nathan.

But I also have the advantage of seeing what has come out of this. My mom and I are very close. Prior to her illness we were all very very very busy. We were one of those activity oriented families, signed up for everything possible and doing everything possible. After her illness we had the advantage of slowing down and actually spending time together. We were a very close family. I was able to develop a relationship with both of my parents because of this illness. I would not wish it away. God has done some amazing things in our family.

I am not trying to compare what we went through to autism. Please don't misunderstand me. No I am trying to compare what God can do. We wish for our kids to have little struggles because we love them and want the best, but when there are struggles, we can trust that God has a greater plan. It will be hard for them, sure. It will be a fight, probably. But in the end perhaps the result will be better than if they never had the struggles.

This was my last week of officially teaching. This week we talked about Psalm 24, "Who can ascend to the hill of the Lord? He who has clean hands and a pure heart." and Psalm 15 "Who can dwell in the tabernacle of the Lord?" and Matthew 5:8 "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God." All of those were about being with the Lord and the only way is to be pure. Next we studied Psalm 119:9-11 "How can a young man keep his way pure? By taking heed according to Your Word." and Revelation 19:13 which explains that Jesus is the Word of God.

All of this plus several more verses that I don't remember off the top of my head (my notes are downstairs and I am upstairs) basically drove home the point that its not about purity, its not about sex, its not even about what they have already done. My heart's prayer is that these youth will make a decision for Jesus and want nothing hindering their relationship with Him. When we aspire to that we will be reaching for a glorious goal! Intimacy with Jesus!

It was an awesome time! I had a lot of fun teaching this one. We talked a lot about the previous lessons, tying them together. We tied in physical purity a lot.

Next week we will be going over the steps of intimacy and handing out pledge cards. We will also be having a marriage panel. Keep it in prayer.

Oh yeah, one more week and I get to watch Lost!!!

ure

Some of you know that I have been having a rough time at work. Well...yesterday (thursday) Pastor Pat, Kelly, Saunie and I went to Reno for lunch and some very much needed time away from it all. We had a wonderful time. I was truly blessed.

And, I found a pair of pants for $10!!! SWEET!!!

In the picture of Pastor Pat and Kelly, Pastor Pat was pretending to pick his nose and Kelly was pulling his arm away. Right at the time I snapped the picture they both turned, like professional movie stars, and smiled. I was trying to get the nose pick and they both looked so normal in this picture it amazed me!

Everybody please go to my dad's site and comment. He finally blogged! YAY! Next we will start working on my mom! YIPPEE SKIPPEE!!!

http://discoveringnathan.blogspot.com/2008/02/child-abuse-by-government.html

This link is to a story posted on my cousin's blog. I am posting this because on a recent blog I made a joke about sending her to child services for not teaching her children about coffee. I have since removed the comments. After reading the above article the comments just didn't seem funny anymore.

It saddens me that we have anything like this happening in this world, much less this country.

Tonight was teaching number 2 of our purity teaching month (which is now going into March due to the fact that we had a guest speaker from El Sal last week). It went very well!

Tonight I had the youth look at love vs. lust. What is love and what is lust. I had them tell me reasons why they get interested in someone and then we looked at the list and marked the ones that were based on ourselves and not the other person's character. Because when we base it on ourselves and how we feel it is not love and will not last. Then we looked at 1 Cor 13 the verses on love. We talked about how love is a commitment and the commitment itself is like the middle stable line while our emotions are up and down all around that line.

Then we broke up into girls and guys. Girls topics tonight were 1. Homosexuality, 2. Self-Gratification, and 3. Pornography. These topics are usually in the guys topics list but rarely on the girls side so we felt it was important to include it.

We began by talking about how Satan has a counterfeit for every good thing that God has for us. He has a cheap counterfeit for marriage and sex and distorts it by using all three areas. I want to share the whole teaching but will probably bore you all but basically in the end we were talking about habitual sins and how to break the habit. We discussed how what you fill your mind with can truly cause you to stumble. Then the girls started sharing and confessing some things. They were explaining sins they had struggled with in the past and how when they read certain things, hang out with certain people etc. they are tempted to go back into it.

It was such a beautiful time a sharing and I pray very freeing for the girls. I really did not expect them to share so openly but praise God they did. One girl afterwards even talked with me and asked me to help her be accountable. It was so cool to see that of the 3 topics we were able to speak to SO many other issues as well. Sin is sin is sin is sin and I think the girls walked away with some tools on how to combat whatever sin they may be facing.

Praise the Lord!!!

...an Espresso Machine waking up on a cold snowy morning.

Have you ever listened to the sound of language? I don't mean listening to a language, I mean paying attention to the melodious sounds that it makes. Whether it be legato (smooth) or staccato (uhhh...not smooth) it is all beautiful.

Amazingly enough when you are immersed into a culture with a language different from your own you begin to find ways to communicate. When first in El Salvador I relied on those interpreting for us and did not hear any of this. Then, after the interpreters got us to branch out on our own I listened for anything to help me understand.

However, by the end of the trip I was listening just for the beauty. Sometimes I would forget to try to comprehend. By that point it was not about what they were saying but about everything, body language, hand motions, a smile, laughter. It was all communicating.

Above is a picture of Taisel (TAH-ee-sell). A girl who I would consider very dear to my heart. She and I formed a connection that possibly would only be ruined by language. I don't know. She was playing the guitar and I sat next to her. What happened next I do not remember. But, somehow, we were friends. She was teaching me Lord I Lift Your Name On High in Spanish and I was teaching her in English. She showed me the beautiful dances that they do during worship and I showed her the sign language.

I suppose in this case our language became the music. It reminds me of the story that Brother Andrew tells of when he was with someone and the interpreter did not show. They began looking up Scriptures in their Bibles, pointing to the address (which is pretty simple to figure out) and reading it in their own language. They had a conversation for quite some time in this manner. Perhaps this is why the children would sit next to me as I studied for the next days teaching and look up the verses I was looking up.

I suppose this is enough musing for now. This post is rather long and from what I have said above, its not about length, its not about content, its about relationships. It's about the family of God connecting in a way only a family can, through the common ground of Christ in His love.

Actually, I have. We had our monthly ladies night out last night and someone brought brownies. I ate one because its not a sin to eat brownies, nor was I fasting from brownies, and because it was simply an analogy.

If you have no idea what I am talking about you need to read my post regarding cruel and unusual youth leaders.

It is making me laugh at how the youth are viewing brownies as a sin. Thats okay, it truly helps with my teaching. I am teaching again tomorrow so I will post an update after the fact. We have some cool things we will be doing this time.

Okay, fasting...I have decided to do a TV fast during the month of purity. I have challenged the youth to do the same. Reason being, we have been talking about the effect of TV on our lives and how remaining pure is that much harder when we are watching alot of what the world's perspective and values. So, no tv. This has been difficult for me especially on Fridays because this is the first season of Lost that I can watch online the next day. I suppose its all for the betterment of our youth right?

Lastly, check out this site: www.myfavoritedad.blogspot.com or click on the title above.

God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear,
Even though the earth be removed,
And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
Though its waters roar and be troubled,
Though the mountains shake with its swelling
Selah

There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God,
The holy place of the tabernacle of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved;
God shall help her, just at the break of dawn.
The nations raged, the kingdoms were moved;
He uttered His voice, the earth melted.

The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge
Selah

Come, behold the works of the LORD,
Who has made desolations in the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariot in the fire.

Be still and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!

The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge.
Selah

Here we are all talking about Kristen never blogging and I realized...what about Bethany??? Where's her blog? Where's pictures of her kids? Where's stories of Louie's craziness????????

I was doing my bills yesterday and was horrified to find out that I was in the red. The sick feeling in my stomach immediately settled in. I kept trying to figure out how this happened since I have been careful in my spending due to the fact that I have two new bills to pay now (computer and internet). I was about to close it and go get a second job when I noticed that I had entered my credit card payment twice. I cried I was SO relieved (of course lately I cry at everything, I don't know why). So I deleted the repeated entry and CHACHING!

I am forever losing my keys so I have created the habit of placing them in a drawer immediately when I come into the house. In this drawer I also keep my mailbox key. So every day I put my car keys away, grab my mailbox key and run to check my mail. Yesterday I was excited because one of my magazines came in. I walked back into the house, tossing all the rest of the mail on my chair while I tore open the plastic around the magazine.

This morning I was moving the mail that was on that chair and I realized that I had something from AT&T. I figured it was my first bill since I only recently signed up for their internet services. Well I open it up and CHACHING! Its a rebate form! I didn't know my purchase qualified for a rebate! It looks like I will get the modem I purchased for free! Praise the Lord!!! I may get a $50 rebate as well but I honestly can't remember which service I purchased. Silly me.

My credit card is American Express (sounds like the commercial) so I get a rebate every year. Its not much but it helps. When I was checking my emails yesterday I got a notice that my rebate will be on my next statement. CHACHING!

I am pretty close to mailing out my taxes. I get an even larger rebate than last year CHACHING!

And lastly, but not leastly, ly is not a proper ending of last but not least. What? Oh sorry, I'm weird. Anyway, I keep hearing about this economic boost tax rebate thing that is supposed to get everyone some money. I am going to believe that one when I have the check in my hand. But if I do.........you got it! CHACHING!

I just have to say. God is amazingly good. This money all comes exactly when I need it. I am so blessed! Now maybe I can pay off some bills!!!

Stress, staying up too late, bad eating habits, and a full schedule is catching up with me. Today I have felt that at any time I could have laid down and went to sleep. I did not. Even though Pastor Pat is out of town and Chris has Mondays off. I still worked hard and actually got a lot done.

Funny thing...lately my gums have been slightly numb. Just in one localized area. Then, this morning I had a funny taste in my mouth. I checked my symptoms online at webmd and found out that there were these areas that could possibly have caused it (there were more but these fit with me):

Anxiety attacks (I do not have these, but considering the fact that they are stress related made me laugh)
Hypoglycemia (hate low blood sugar but with how I have been eating...well...)
Migraines (also brought on by stress)
Dry Mouth (not drinking enough water)

I laughed so much when I saw this. So my own personal medical plan? Drink water, eat better and CHILL!!! Hmmm...do you think Pastor Pat would see this as a medical need for a vacation? Meaning it should be covered right? I think Hawaii is the only place that will give me feeling in my gums again. YEAH!

Okay this is a rather rambling post. Sorry for my two readers. But hey, its a small price to be my friend eh?

He's 10 months old and very sick. A month or two ago (I have lost track of how long its been) Cohen was diagnosed with croup. He was very sick and in and out of the hospital. Then he developed some respiratory problems. His mom kept taking him into emergency and often times he would quit breathing altogether. Finally they care flighted him to a hospital in Reno where the Pediatrics ward is a better. He was diagnosed with Croup, Influenza B, and Pneumonia. Plus he was no long able to breathe on his own and was placed on a respirator.

In order to put a 10 month old on a respirator they have to keep them from moving. This little guy was on the respirator for 5 days. For 5 days he had heavy drugs pumped into him to keep him still because the tubes wouldn't have stayed in otherwise, and the tubes were keeping him alive.

Yesterday I got a chance to go see him. He was off the respirator but was now experiencing withdraws from the drugs.

I cannot explain to you the heartbreaking scene it was to see this 10 month old that was so frightened, tired, and miserable and not be able to help him. We held him up because he was uncomfortable laying down (he would cry if you tried to lay him down, so he was sitting up, but he was extremely exhausted) and we prayed and prayed.

This morning at church it was announced that he was able to get into a room of his own last night (still within ICU because the hospital is full but they put him behind a closed door). He slept through the night and this morning he was pretty close to being himself again. Praise the Lord!!!

He might even have gone home today!

So there you go a prayer and a praise all in one.

For those that have planned any type of VBS you will know that most curriculum gives you a timeline that looks something like this:
4-6 months prior to VBS: Pick a curriculum
3-5 months prior to VBS: Find out your budget
2-3 months prior to VBS: Choose location, rotation schedules
2 months prior to VBS: Start recruiting
1 month prior to VBS: order supplies
Etc. etc. etc.

I, on the other hand, am about 4 months out from my VBS and one of the first things I did was
plan how I would break the groups up and what classrooms they would be in. At the same time I was working on a budget.

So, today I ordered supplies, walked through the new building and discussed the layout of VBS with Karen, I have my budget in place enough to begin (still waiting on final approval but have a semi-final approval), I have my music director and some of my other volunteers in place and I am about to begin recruiting.

Not a very exciting update I know but there you go. I was so excited to order supplies today! We have a discounted source for supplies but I won't know the amount of discount until Monday. Pray that we are blessed!!!

Purity teachings started last night. Right before worship started I popped in two pans of succulent brownies into the oven in the kitchen at church. When the youth went to go to their class after worship you opened the door from the foyer to head upstairs and you were immediately hit with a chocolatey yummyness that you could practically taste.

I grabbed the pans and brought them upstairs. I let the kids smell them, I let them look at them. I didn't let them eat them. Here's the analogy, the brownies represent sex. So, only those that are married were allowed to eat the brownies...hence I didn't eat them either...Now, due to the fact that the youth kids got to smell them and awoke their senses to the wonderful desire for brownies they will most likely be craving them all this week. Some will make some. Some will hate me forever for this. Some won't care at all. Some will eat something else sweet. All of this represents how we are affected when we are trying to stay pure and we still watch certain things on TV, listen to certain things on the radio or talk to our friends a certain way. We are awaking love prior to God's timing. It makes it all that much harder to remain pure.

So for the next two weeks I am going to begin the lessons with the question, "who has caved?" The funniest part of all of it is that the youth will feel like they have sinned by eating brownies. Its not a sin to eat brownies...they are just an analogy. One youth girl text me to today and said, "am I grounded? I ate a brownie" I wrote her back and said, "if you can stand before God with a clean conscience and eat a brownie...well thats between you and Him."

Cruel and unusual? Maybe. Effective? Definitely!!!

My neighbor is having problems. I think she and her husband are about to separate. I only know because of all the yelling lately. They are normally very quiet but they don't seem to have a good marriage because they go through spouts of yelling matches.

I used to get mad. I would be frustrated with them for not being quiet and respectful of their neighbors. But God gave me a job to do when I hear them fighting. He asked me to pray. I pray for their salvation and marriage. I try to pray for their sakes, not my own (if they got saved and had a good marriage they'd be ideal neighbors!).

You know what God did with that? He broke my heart. I hear them now and I am so sad for them. I truly do pray for their sake and not mine because now my heart breaks at the reminder that they need Jesus.

Please pray for my neighbors, they need more than my prayers. If you live in an apartment, next time you hear fighting or partying, pray for your neighbors too. You just might make a difference.

I don't know what I am doing. Thank God for my dad!

I also don't really have any money. Bummer...that kind of stinks.

Thats all I have to say about investing. :)